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Uncle Mike(For those of you with weak stomachs, I would recommend stopping right here. Do not read further. I promise. You will regret it.)
I was writing the '5 Strange Things' yesterday when I had this memory from childhood that is so strange, I started to include it, but then I realized that it really needed more explanation than just a spot on a list.
When I was young, 3 or 4, I spent a lot of time with my uncle Mike. He was in a horrific car accident before I was born, and as a result, he had some physical abnormalities. He was missing a few fingers, and walked with a limp. But, most unusually, he had a whole section of his leg that was gone, leaving a cavity in his thigh. When he was sitting, the outer side of his left thigh had a 'hole' that had healed over with new skin. (Imagine that someone took a chunk out of your leg, and then replaced it with a 'bowl' of new skin.) It wasn't an open wound, but it made a cavity big enough for both of my hands to fit into.
Uncle Mike and his wife used to babysit me, a lot. They even bought me my own little chair, where I used to sit next to Uncle Mike while he was watching t.v. in his recliner. For some reason, I ate M&M's every time I was there.
One night, we were watching Wheel of Fortune, and I was having a hard time holding my M&M's in my hands. I saw that hole in Uncle Mike's leg, and it seemed like the perfect spot for M&M's. I dumped them all in there, and then ate them one by one. And every time I was there after that, that's instantly where I put my candy.
As a child, I thought it was the coolest little candy holder in the world. As an adult, I want to vomit when I think about it. I have such a weird family.
I don't even have a quote that applies in any way, shape, or form to this topic. (Big Mike, I believe I just won the contest you outlined yesterday.)
Five Strange Things
I was tagged last week, by MJM, to name five strange things about myself. Now, I'm a weird person, as I'm sure anyone who knows me would tell you, but it was really hard for me to come up with five things for this entry. But, I managed.
I'm sure there are lots more strange things about me, but you'll have to be satisfied with these! More Useless Knowledge About Me1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE? On the beach somewhere in the Caribbean, in close proximity to a restaurant with great seafood and great cocktails. Close enough to hear the water lapping at night when I go to sleep.
2. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING? Sandals - the easiest shoes ever. Just slip them on, and you're out the door. Tank tops would be a close second. Basically any clothing that gets me as close to naked as society allows.
3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Bryan Adams - The Best of Me (Greatest Hits)
4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? About 45 minutes before I have to be somewhere. Usually about 7:00. Too early, in my book.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? The stove. I love to cook, so this is logical, really. Although I really like the toaster, too.
6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? The piano. I took lessons for about 6 months, but I'm pretty much tone-deaf, and that does not a musician make.
7. FAVORITE COLOR? Red, and variations thereof.
8. WHICH VEHICLE DO YOU PREFER? Mine - Ford Explorer SporTrac.
9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE? Haven't decided. (I think someday this will be decided for me. haha)
10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Bridge to Terabithia, The Secret Garden, Where the Red Fern Grows
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON? Spring and fall. But I love summer too. Hell, I don't know. I like them all.
12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHERE AND WHAT IS IT? I don't have one yet, but I'm going to get one soon - a four-leaf clover, in honor of my Irish heritage, on my lower back.
13. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? I've always wanted to fly like the wind, up above everyone and everything. Plus, you'd never have to deal with traffic again. Major bonus.
14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? I'm a great multi-tasker - does that count?
15. ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST WHO YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO? My great-grandmother Estelle. She died before I was born, but everyone who knew her says that I am just like her. I'd like to meet her.
16. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Sunday - the one day that I don't plan anything.
17. DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? My family raises beef cattle - what do you think?
18. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Dahlia - the big ones.
19. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL? Anything Mexican.
20. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? March 28, 1982
21. DESCRIBE YOUR PJ'S? What pj's?
 22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST? Turkey bacon, eggs, sourdough toast, orange juice.
23. DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? On good days.
24. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB? Motivational speaker.
25. WHAT AGE DO YOU PLAN TO RETIRE? As soon as I can afford to travel the world.
26. WHERE AND WHEN DID YOU MEET YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER/SPOUSE? Haven't yet.
27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOOK? The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCullough
28. SOMETHING YOU'D LIKE TO DO THAT YOU'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE? Go sky-diving.
The Tag QuizKZ requested this, so you can all blame her.
Seven things that scare me or that I hate doing:
1. I am deathly afraid of motorcycles.
2. And crickets.
3. I hate cleaning bathrooms.
4. I hate people who believe that their opinion is the only one that matters.
5. I hate confrontation.
6. I am afraid of long commitments.
7. I hate my alarm clock.
Seven things I like:
1. The rain.
2. Sunsets.
3. My eyes.
4. My smile.
5. A hug and smile, complete with dimples, from Braeden.
6. That good, stomach-fluttery feeling that accompanies a first date.
7. Having a HUGE family.
Seven random facts about me:
1. I drive a white Ford Explorer SporTrac.
2. I refuse to buy less than 400 thread count sheets.
3. I read approx. 3-4 books per week.
4. I love massages.
5. Peanut butter cup cookies are my favorite.
6. I hate housecleaning.
7. Read my Blog 101 for more info that you don't care about.
Seven things I will do before I die:
1. Buy a house.
2. Go to Ireland.
3. Become a motivational speaker.
4. Own a restaurant.
5. Retire to Spain.
6. Go to Russia. (Thanks, Ian!)
7. Weigh 145 pounds. (This isn't a big one, I'm just curious to see what I'd look like.)
Seven things I can do:
1. Cook anything.
2. Get up in front of a thousand people with no preparation and have them walk away thinking about what I've said.
3. Balance YOUR checkbook faster than you can.
4. Make friends faster than anyone I've ever met.
5. Throw great parties.
6. Understand everyone's point of view, without agreeing with any of them.
7. Make awesome mud pies. (According to Braeden, anyway.)
Seven things I can't or won't do:
1. I can't ride a motorcycle.
2. I won't sleep with married men. (or women.)
3. I won't drink and drive.
4. I can't see more than six inches from my face without my contacts.
5. I won't be intimidated, by anyone, or anything.
6. I won't change myself, for anyone.
7. I can't ever make it anywhere on time.
Seven things I say the most:
1. 'Steele Development, this is Courtney.'
2. 'Braeden, stop it.'
3. 'Braeden, get back in bed, NOW.'
4. 'Shit.'
5. 'Braeden, that's enough questions for one day. No more.'
6. 'No, you cannot have another cookie.'
7. 'What time is it?'
Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Angelina Jolie.
2. Vin Diesel
3. Colin Farrell
4. Ben Affleck
5. Bruce Willis
6. Brad Pitt
7. Tom Selleck
My Own '101 Things You Don't Need to Know'Okay, I've seen this everywhere, so here goes. If you fall asleep in the middle, it won't hurt my feelings, I promise.
 1. I am deathly afraid of crickets.
2. And motorcycles.
3. I have trouble focusing on just one thing.
4. I suffer from insomnia, and use self-hypnosis to fall asleep at night.
5. I was a champion debater.
6. I would rather lead than follow.
7. I love to be the center of attention.
8. I play a mean game of football.
9. And softball.
10. And tennis.
11. I love to have big parties with lots of people.
12. And lots of food that I've cooked.
13. I've never done drugs and am careful with alcohol because my family is known for it's addictions.
14. I carry a wicked-looking knife on my keychain for protection.
15. I'm obsessed with eyebrows.
16. I'm Irish, Czech, Dutch, Native American, English, Scottish - otherwise known as Heintz 57.
17. I was once in a fistfight.
18. I won.
19. I have a commitment problem.
20. If you want to see me run, tell me you love me.
21. I like it best 'doggie-style'.
22. I hate to cry in front of anyone.
23. I own 80+ pairs of shoes.
24. I wear the same pair every day.
25. I could never be a vegetarian.
26. My family raises beef cattle.
27. I would take a nap every day if I could.
28. I am extremely messy.
29. I love anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter.
30. My middle name is DeAnne.
31. When I get married, I will keep my last name.
32. I have problems expressing emotions to those close to me.
33. Except for my son - he brings out the best in me.
34. My nickname when I was very young was 'Hollywood'.
35. My nickname is high school was 'Mama J'.
36. It stands for 'mama jugs'.
37. If you don't get that one, you obviously never had five guys as your
closest friends.
38. I did.
39. We remain close.
40. I want to be famous.
41. And rich.
42. I don't believe that someone can make you happy.
43. You have to do that yourself.
44. I twirl my hair when nervous, stressed, tired or bored.
45. My son does it, too.
46. I love my eyes.
47. And my smile.
48. Sometimes I wish I could get on a plane and never come back.
49. I drink about a gallon of water a day.
50. I am a night owl.
51. I hate mornings.
52. I dream about being President of the United States.
53. I have dreamt about something - and then it happened.
54. I adore my family.
55. I have one of those so-Irish last names that start with O'.
56. This is much harder than I anticipated.
57. I drive a truck.
58. I visited Spain three years ago.
59. I will live there someday.
60. I once partied with a man in Costa Rica who kept calling me Britney Spears.
61. He was obviously blind.
62. I never, ever know the name of any song on the radio.
63. I am a HUGE procrastinator.
64. Craziest place I've ever had sex - the wrestling mezzanine, during
high school, with a gym class down below.
65. I was young and stupid.
66. He had a girlfriend.
67. I prefer short guys to tall.
68. Accents are hot.
69. I love to travel.
70. I also love massages.
71. I have a horrible temper.
72. But a long fuse.
73. I have big feet. (Does that mean something in women?)
74. I love, love, love to read.
75. I hate housecleaning.
76. My son means everything to me.
77. I believe in ghosts.
78. I have had a fear of bridges ever since I flipped my car off one at 16 and almost drowned.
79. I have had a sexual relationship with a woman.
80. I prefer men.
81. However, if Angelina Jolie ever came knocking, I would weep with joy.
82. Then I would get naked.
83. Red is my favorite color.
84. Since the movie Arachnophobia, I always check the toilet for
spiders.
85. If I don't get 8 hours of sleep, I get cranky.
86. I'm cranky a lot.
87. I believe money is meant to be spent.
88. I'm generous to a fault.
89. I don't fall in love easily.
90. I think it would be cool to be a forensic pathologist.
91. I love sweet iced tea.
92. I don't drink coffee.
93. I always wanted to be a doctor while growing up.
94. I think I would make a great lawyer. (Objection!)
95. My favorite drink is a strawberry margarita.
96. Dahlias are my favorite flower.
97. If I saw Vin Diesel on the street, I would rape him.
98. I read (and collect) erotica.
99. I am the most disorganized person I know.
100. I was always the teacher's pet.
101. I am brutally honest. Response to JollyIf you look at the comments I received from yesterday's blog, you'll see this little quiz that Sarah left for me.
Q1: Your chance of becoming a motivational speaker has finally arrived. You find out that you will be given $100,000.00 to start and after will be paid $40,000.00 for each speech. The only catch is that your new boss wants you to become his personal call girl. What would you do? Whoa. What a question. Would I trade sex for my dream? It's disheartening that I actually have to think about it this much. Immediate, gut response is no, of course not. But then, when I think about it a little, the answer becomes a little less clear. Not really much to do with the money. This business is basically ruled by opportunity. If I had the opportunity, I could get my foot in the door and then switch to another company very quickly. And, really, for whom is sex always pure? Haven't you ever used sex to get what you want, or feel better about yourself, or get back at someone else, or control someone else? How is that different from using it to make money, realize your dreams? So, my final answer is - I don't know. That's one of those questions I will answer when the problem presents itself.
Q2: What was the most embarrassing moment in your life? I don't really have one. I mean, I've been embarrassed, don't get me wrong, but not one incident that screams out at me.
Q3: Did you have a security item as a kid? Not a single security item, like a blanket, but books were my security. From a very young age, I used them to escape the hell that was my life. If my mind was buried in a book, I couldn't be concerned with everything around me.
Q4: If you were able to move anywhere in the U.S. Where would you move? Would your son have an affect on where you moved to? My son definitely has an impact on where we live. I think it's important for him to have family around, so as much as I'd like to move to a big city for a few years, we won't. Second choice would be back home to Missouri, to buy a little land close to my grandparent's farm. It's only about 30 minutes away from where I live now, but the opportunities are here. It is in my five-year plan to move back, though.
Q5: Your sitting at a bus stop headed to see a loved one that is on their death bed. You are waiting with two other people, one that is headed to see their son that had been taken from them as a child and had not seen for eighteen years, and a gentleman that has returned home from Iraq to his wife that just recently birthed their first child. A bus arrives but only two people will fit. Who would you pick to get on the bus, knowing that your loved one could pass away if you had to wait any longer? This is going to sound absolutely cowardly, but I would let the other two get on the bus. I am horrible when it comes to death, dying, the comforting of those left behind. I hate funerals, I hate to cry in public. My great-uncle Harold is dying right now of a brain tumor, and watching him slowly die is the most awful thing I have ever witnessed. I hate to see him like that, so I don't really go around there as much as I should. So, if I had the opportunity to put that off for however long it took for a second bus to come around, I'm sure that I would take it.
There you go. Now you guys know all the bad stuff. Sarah - I hated these questions! Blog 411I found this on Dave's, aka mochajavaman, and then copied it from Sher's space, so thank you to them! Copy and answer for yourself!
GENERAL
Blog name = Irish Girl # piercings = three - two in ear lobes, one on top of left ear # tattoos = none height = 5'2" hair color = brown siblings = 4 brothers, 3 sisters children = 1 - Braeden How old do you look = 26 How old do you act = 25 How old do you feel = 35 Do you have any pets = one cat - O'Malley
LAST... movie you rented = National Treasure movie you bought = Dodgeball - hilarious!!!! song you listened to = ?? I never know the song title or artist, sorry! song that was stuck in your head = See above. cd you bought = Daniel Bedingfield tv show you've watched = The Inside on Fox
DO... you have a secret crush = yes you wish you could live somewhere else = yes you think about suicide = no you believe in online dating = sometimes - aka when I'm really desperate. others find you attractive = I hope so. you like cleaning = NO!!!! I need a maid. you like roller coasters = YES!!!!
FOR OR AGAINST... long distance relationships = Never had one, I'm not sure. using someone = If the ends justify the means, yes. smoking = no Death penalty = yes
HAVE YOU... ever lied to someone? = yes ever been in a fist fight? = yes - afterwards my papa was so proud he took me to a steak dinner. hahaha ever passed out on a street from drinking too much? = No, but I have had to pee in the street because there were no bathrooms open. That was in Spain, though. I think its allowed there. ever told someone you loved them when you didnt? = yes. ever cheated on a lover/spouse? = no ever cheated on a test? = yes
WHAT... shoes do you wear most= black sandals with a big heel are you scared of = crickets and motorcycles do you want to be when you grow up = a motivational speaker is your least favorite chore to do = cleaning the bathroom makes you the happiest = my son, a good book, cooking for a big group of friends upsets you the most = hypocrisy, dishonesty always makes you smile = the sunset
NUMBER... of times I have been in love = 1 of hearts I have broken = 4 of people I can trust with my life with = 3 of times my name has appeared in the newspaper = too many to count of scars on my body = 10-15, do stretch marks count? If so, a lot more. Damn kids. of things in my past that I regret = none of times I told people I loved them today = none
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE... pretty = of course! funny = either that, or everyone is laughing AT me! friendly = yes amusing = yes ugly = 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' loveable = not very caring = yes sweet = no sensative = no a putz = I don't even know what this means. mean = sometimes
FAVORITE... 6 letter word = O-R-G-A-S-M Can anyone else say 'vibrator'? Candy = Reese's peanut butter cups Cartoon = The Smurfs Cereal = Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds Color = Red Day of week = Sunday Season = Spring Movie = Heat, Steel Magnolias, Love Actually Book = The Thorn Birds - Colleen McCullough TV Channel = Fox
PERSON WHO LAST... Slept in your bed with you = my son, Braeden Saw you cry = ex-bf J. Made you cry = ex-bf J. Yelled at you = ex-bf J. Smiled at you = Suzy Kissed you = Dustin
HAVE YOU EVER... Gone out in public in your pajamas = yes Kept a secret from everyone = yes, I'm keeping a BIG one right now Wished you were the opposite sex = I'd like to know what it's like to have a penis. Stolen someones newspaper = no - that's sacred to a reader like me Borrowed something never meaning to return it = yes - a pair of gym shorts from a crush back in high school. Sean, I still want you. Had sex with some one of the same sex = yes
LOVE Do you believe in love at first sight = yes Most important quality to you in a relationship is = honesty Who loves you most = Braeden
MISCELLANEOUS INFO Do you speak any other languages = no Last flavor you tasted = chocolate Last noise you heard = fax machine Last smell you sniffed = rain Last meal you ate = peanut butter and honey sandwich Last beautiful thing you saw = a couple in my office this morning who were 80 and 85 and still holding hands. They've been married for 62 years. That's how I want to be. Last emotion you felt = frustration Favorite item in your home = collection of books Worst feeling in the world = heartbreak
FINISH THIS SENTENCE: I Love ... my son, my family, the feel of rain on my face, the view from the top of the hill overlooking my papa's ranch on horseback, anything chocolate. I Miss ... my best friend M. I Wish ... I was less of a procrastinator. I Hope ... I'm a good parent, I always keep my priorities straight, I accomplish all my goals. I Want ... a new Honda Ridgeline. I am ... sexy, funny, smart, beautiful, out-going. I need ... my family, a good book to read, plenty of chocolate.
I'd rather die than lick ... death is pretty final. I can think of a lot of things I WOULD lick to save my life. I don't think there is anything I wouldn't lick for that.
Now you have it! Let me know about you too! Talking about If Talent Had No Limit and Money Grew Like weedsIf Talent Had No Limit and Money Grew Like weeds:
Patresa put this question to us this morning. My only problem is that there are so many different things I would want to be doing. Here goes: If talent had no limit and money grew like weeds: First of all, I would own a house for each season. For winter: A splendid little palazzo in southern Italy. For spring: A ranch home in Montana. For summer: A gorgeous mansion with lots of room for my friends and family in Malaga, Spain. For fall: A three-story brick colonial with huge white pillars in front in Massachusetts. I would never have to pack, because each of these houses would hold only the appropriate clothes for the season. (That would save on having to switch out summer and winter clothes every few months.
Second, I would own a restaurant - one of those homey places where everyone knows everyone, and I would make my famous pies, and cakes, and gumbo, and breads. This place would be very popular, and to make it easier on me, I would have a location in each of the above places.
Third, I would be a movie star - very much in demand. All the men (Ben, Brad, Vince, George, Vin) and hell, even some of the women (Angelina, J.Lo, Gisele, Jessica) would be clamoring to star as my lover. (I like this part best.
Fourth, I would be a motivational speaker - people would pay me thousands to hear my life story.
Fifth, I would have three more children, Donovan, Connor, and Caelan. They would have a private tutor, and we would travel all over the world for their geography lessons.
Sixth, I would be married to my perfect man. This is kind of blurry, but there is definitely a man there.
Seventh, I would have a personal trainer that made sure I always looked my best.
Eighth, I would have a personal masseuse for daily massages.
I think that's about all. Ahhh, I'm relaxing already. |
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