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Confrontation"You're turning into a hardass." This is what my granny said to me the other day. I took it as a compliment. Because, you see, I have a problem with confrontation. It makes me sick to my stomach. Makes my whole body quake. I can't figure out why, really. I like to think that I can make a stand for the things that I believe in without thinking that I'm going to faint.
It's not just any sort of confrontation. I used to be on the debate team in high school, and I loved it. But that kind of confrontation has rules, guidelines. There will be no insults thrown, no hurt feelings, no lasting ramifications.
Personal confrontations are much different. I have an ostrich-with-her-head-in-the-sand mentality. Maybe if I just ignore it long enough, it will go away. Of course, that never actually works. It just puts off the inevitable.
I had a little confrontation with my son's babysitter last night, and that's what started this whole thing. In the grand scheme of things, it was really an insignificant discussion, but it really bothered me. I walked out of her house with sweaty palms and an upset stomach.
But that was progress for me. In the past, I would have just accepted what she said and went home and brooded about it, instead of saying anything. I have been known to stay with a man simply because I didn't have the guts to have the 'break-up' confrontation. And that really contradicts my entire personality. I'm a strong person, I have firm beliefs. So what is the reason behind this confrontation fear?
Perhaps it comes from the ingrained need to please. Perhaps from watching too many confrontations growing up, and knowing that I didn't want that for my life. But there are times when a confrontation is necessary. When a person needs to stand up and say "No, you are wrong."
So, for me, whether or not anything is actually resolved with the confrontation, the victory comes from just doing it. From making a stand, and believing in myself enough to know that people will still love me, even if I don't agree with them.
Even if I have to go home and throw up afterwards.
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the things you think you cannot do." -Eleanor Roosevelt 回應 (6)
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