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The Date ApplicationPatresa left a comment on Friday's blog, suggesting that I start using an application for any men that are interested in me. I thought that was the best idea I'd heard in a long time, so I have developed the following application, to be filled out and submitted before any man can be eligible for a date.
Today's Date:
Full legal name:
Date of Birth:
Height: Weight:
Shoe size:
Last level of education completed:
Current employer and title of position:
How long have you been employed with this company?
Annual salary:
Do you own your home? Monthly payment:
Current balance in checking account:
savings account:
General Information
How many times per week do you speak to your mother, either in person or on the telephone?
Do you enjoy children?
Do you want children?
Do you currently have any children?
If yes, do they live with you?
Sexual History
How many sexual partners have you had?
Have you ever been diagnosed with a sexually
transmitted disease?
If yes, which one(s)?
If you could have only one, would you choose
a blow job or sexual intercourse?
What is the average length of time you are
engaged in sexual intercourse before
ejaculation?
Do you have any abnormal sexual fetishes?
Do you enjoy performing oral sex?
Lifestyle
What are your current hobbies?
Are you willing to relinquish control of the remote to your significant other?
Have you ever been convicted of either a felony or a misdemeanor?
If yes, what was the crime?
How often do you drink alcohol?
Do you smoke?
If yes, how often?
Do you do any sort of illegal drug?
Have you ever been married?
If yes, how many times?
How long have you been divorced?
Do you shave/wax any body part other than your face?
If yes, which ones?
Essay questions - please answer the following questions in a minimum of three sentences.
1. How would you spend your ideal Sunday?
2. How important is family to you?
3. How do you feel about dating a woman with children?
4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
5. What is your idea of the perfect romantic date?
Please attach the following documents before submitting this form to the appropriate authorities.
Copy of current clean bill of health, signed by your physician.
Copy of current credit report.
Copy of complete psychiatric evaluation, signed by a licensed psychiatrist.
References - please designate three people that can be contacted to verify above information.
I think this will just about answer every question that I have going into a date. Hopefully it will weed out the weirdos!
"Remove failure as an option and your chances for success become infinitely better." -Joan Lunden
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